Kind of owe you all this one.

It’s not a great story.

Older girl. Beautiful. Dating someone else. Knew I was a virgin. I said something and she just got this look on her face. This was early in high school and I was a cocky little fuck and it was tricky once it started happening because I really had this feeling that it was my cocky attitude that had gotten me in this spot where this beautiful girl was going to fuck me but I also knew I couldn’t keep up that attitude. I didn’t really know what I was doing. I had to have this moment of total vulnerability. Not articulated but obvious. And she had this non-smirk look on her face when she saw my vulnerability. She just sort of led me. And in terms of mechanics I’ll just admit it straight up, when it came time to put my penis in, the vagina was lower than I thought. I had interacted with vaginas but come penetration time it was like I hadn’t. She had to sort of guide me. It was me going from super cocky to super earnest in a matter of minutes. She helped me though. And the whole time I thought about how cool it was that it was happening. I thought about how I would get to tell my friends. I didn’t feel like I became a man but I sure did feel cool as shit. I lasted maybe four or five minutes. I don’t think you could have seen even the beginning of her having an orgasm with fucking binoculars but the whole thing had this kind of cool kind sweet vibe to it.

I was overwhelmed with gratitude. And I wasn’t really embarrassed by my non-superstar performance. I was just happy.

I don’t know why she wanted to do that, but it was wonderful of her.

I felt on top of the world.

Honestly, sex still makes me feel that way.

I can never ever really believe that any girl has deemed me worthy. What a fucking wonderful thing. What a gift. How fucking awesome!