The sun glasses are part of the hat!
|—||Gene (from Bob’s Burgers)|
You guys, so obviously I’m beverage shopping. Look at this fucking mystery beverage I found! What is it? It looks like orange soda but it says something about cola champagne. I don’t even know what is going on with this thing. And guess where I found this bottle, it was all by itself with the English muffins.
UPDATE: I drank this today. I have confronted the Refresco Goya Cola Champagne. Mi boca exploró el líquido misterio.
Here’s my report: ????????????????.
I don’t know what it was. It wasn’t bad. It was like a cream soda flavor mixed with a bumble gum taste.
I don’t really know what I drank, but it had a very strange sweetness to it.
¿Fue ese extraño dulce sabor simplemente el fantasma de cierto tristeza tropical que yo había sentido hace mucho tiempo en otra vida? Fue un recordatorio inquietante de un caramelo que le robé a un mago en un sueño que tuve cuando tenía fiebre mientras se recupera de la muy vicioso enfermedades de transmisión sexual que recibí de Ke$ha.
You ever think about Lena Dunham’s boyfriend?
He is a guitarist in the band fun.
All through high school he dated Scarlet Johansson.
What a strange life that guy has going.
It must be so weird to see the high school flame who broke your heart in movies all the time! Then again his current girlfriend has her own show on HBO.
He must feel so unfamous, only being in fun. and not even being the singer! I mean, I don’t even remember his name and I’m writing about him right now.
Are you happy Lena Dunham’s boyfriend?
What do you think about in your quiet, reflective moments?
Playing guitar in fun.?
You’re a mystery.
How I Met Your Mother‘s de facto protagonist Ted Mosby saves his most egregious act of narcissism for last. In the end, all hands are soaked in the blood of The Mother.
Okay, this is a weird one but I’ve done some research on the salaries of television actors and I think it’s fucking outrageous that Zooey Deschanel isn’t the highest paid actor on her own show.
Listen, we all love Schmidt. But how can he get paid more than the New Girl the show is named after? It’s not right!
Also Aston Kutcher makes more than three times as much as Amy Poehler per episode. That’s on all of us. We all allow that! We are all guilty of that! We have all let that fucking happen. That is who we are.
Girlfriend goes to sleep. Adam stays up drinking wine. What’s on netflix? Hold on, did I never finish the final season of 30 Rock? More wine drinking. 5 am. Adam has been getting increasingly emotional. This is so lovely and sad. More wine drinking. I love you, 30 Rock imaginary people. I will miss you. Why does everything have to end? There is so much sadness and grief built into even the best things. I love you 30 Rock imaginary people!
Fuck. What time is it?
If you’re a little obsessed with Adam Scott the way I am, you have to see this movie The Vicious Kind. He’s amazing. Also, it’s on Netflix. Watch the thing.Such a great movie.
|—||Junot Diaz (via juskysnewbooks)|
You guys, so obviously I’m beverage shopping. Look at this fucking mystery beverage I found! What is it? It looks like orange soda but it something about cola champagne. I don’t even know what is going on with this thing. And guess where I found this bottle, it was all by itself with the English muffins.