jusky
I tried to post this photo earlier. I was trying to show my sunglasses but it’s so disturbing to see what my non-camera hand is doing. What a fucking idiot I am. Anyway, off to a baseball game. Sorry about who I am. What an idiot.

I tried to post this photo earlier. I was trying to show my sunglasses but it’s so disturbing to see what my non-camera hand is doing. What a fucking idiot I am. Anyway, off to a baseball game. Sorry about who I am. What an idiot.

If it was olden times and the dude came up to me and showed me a pretzel and was like hey I just invented the pretzel, I would start blowing him IMMEDIATELY.

Me and Ecksjay in red t-shirts.

Me and Ecksjay in red t-shirts.

Zach is explaining Tinder to me. Holy shit. It’s a jungle out there, it sounds like.

Ecksjay is probably the best stand up I’ve ever seen.

We’re all handicapped in our own way.
Drunk idiot sitting near me.
Why don’t they tell us the name of the cat?!

Why don’t they tell us the name of the cat?!

I just realized that the photo of the cat on the cover of Rolling Stone also has Lana Del Rey in it.

Oh my god this guy next to me ordered a white wine! Is he going to go shop for shoes and talk about his divorce next???? Sickening. Tell me about your kids now you Chardonay-drinking turtle fuck!

Hold on I think he’s reading this

I like wine so much but the dude who sits down at a bar and orders a glass of wine is, to my mind, no man at all. He’s a kind of turtle really. A soft, pathetic turtle I don’t respect.

I remember seeing Will Smith say that he’d explained to his kids that they aren’t rich. “Mommy and Daddy are rich. You’re broke.”

But the thing is I can’t think of anyone who acts less broke than Jaden Smith. Will Smith did a bad job giving Jaden that unlucky broke feeling that really would have made that kid tolerable.

If you think about Matlock and Steve Martin, it becomes kind of astounding that men haven’t started all wearing white suits all the time.

There needs to be a word for when writing is doing what it’s talking about. Like when the writer is taking their own advice during the act of giving you advice. You see it in books about usage a lot but you see it other places too. The writer is writing about writing and doing so in such a way that the writer is not just explaining what they’re saying, they’re also demonstrating it. I want there to be a word for this! The best example is this Gary Provost quotation, but it happens more often than you think:

“This sentence has five words. Here are five more words. Five-word sentences are fine. But several together become monotonous. Listen to what is happening. The writing is getting boring. The sound of it drones. It’s like a stuck record. The ear demands some variety. Now listen. I vary the sentence length, and I create music. Music. The writing sings. It has a pleasant rhythm, a lilt, a harmony. I use short sentences. And I use sentences of medium length. And sometimes, when I am certain the reader is rested, I will engage him with a sentence of considerable length, a sentence that burns with energy and builds with all the impetus of a crescendo, the roll of the drums, the crash of the cymbals–sounds that say listen to this, it is important.”

Should adult men ever even wear shorts in non-athletic situations?

The older I get the more wrong it feels.

If you can't do italics on your phone, you should render such titles as SCRUBS or GILMORE GIRLS. It will help distinguish your blog from the fan-girl musings of a 14-year old cheerleader.

What’s wrong with the musings of a 14 year old cheerleader you sexist agist anti-cheerleading jerkface?