jusky
Proposal:

Double stuffed Oreos will now be called “Oreos” and what were previously regular Oreos will now be called “half stuffed Oreos”

Things House and Scrubs have in common:

1. The show doesn’t really get cookin’ till the music comes on for the last three minutes.

2. I get emotional during those music parts at the end.

3. Both have to do with… I forget the third one. Both have one black guy?

Adam’s number #1 Scrubs secret:

I hate Elliot.

What are you guys doing? I’m watching Scrubs. I don’t even know what season.

Also I’m having a drink and thinking it would be so hilarious if God really does get mad about sex before marriage.

I want to buy cottage cheese but I don’t remember if I like small curd or large curd. FUCK

Question for serious Spanish speakers. What’s the difference between referring to a white dude as a gringo and referring to him as an “americano”? Are there different implications? Like I heard a Spanish lady today refer to me as americano but she was talking to a black American dude. Why didn’t she call me a gringo? I don’t get it. Does this question even make sense?

I steal the little boy’s nose and say “got your nose!” And then I hold up his nose and as blood runs down my wrists, I crush his nose while he watches. I am the meanest nose thief of all.

"Whatajdjd do yous mean no coffee?" he drooled, collapsing into an abyss if fatigue and despair.

Many dangers are predictable but not all dangers are predictable some dangers come out of nowh..BLACK ICE!!!!

No one on Pininterest gets my M*A*S*H allusions.

Janet: I don’t think we need to tell sad stories. Life’s too short.

Daniel: That’s exactly why we have to tell them.

Sometimes I refer to my vagina as “the haunted house”

Way to slow yourselves down in the bathroom, guys who wash their hands!

I tried to post this photo earlier. I was trying to show my sunglasses but it’s so disturbing to see what my non-camera hand is doing. What a fucking idiot I am. Anyway, off to a baseball game. Sorry about who I am. What an idiot.

I tried to post this photo earlier. I was trying to show my sunglasses but it’s so disturbing to see what my non-camera hand is doing. What a fucking idiot I am. Anyway, off to a baseball game. Sorry about who I am. What an idiot.

If it was olden times and the dude came up to me and showed me a pretzel and was like hey I just invented the pretzel, I would start blowing him IMMEDIATELY.