i hate it when i’m a jerk to a girl, and they put me in the sexzone. i just want to be their friend, but no all the nice guys get to be their friends
There’s nothing more legitimate than complaining. If you soberly look around your fucking day and your assessment is, fuck this, this is a special day and I hate it, I’m going to complain! THEN COMPLAIN.
But don’t complain as a habit. Don’t complain because you can’t think of anything to think or anything to say. Don’t make it a mode.
Complaining should be like a one night stand, not like masturbating. Do it out of passion and then regret it. Don’t make it part of your day.
I’m serious. If you complain too much you’ll start to believe yourself and you’ll think you’re miserable when you’re mostly just bored. You’ll wake up with the wrong idea about all your problems.
One of the weird things about tumblr is that as much as it’s like high school sometimes, you never graduate. Some of us have been doing this together for years. I have no idea if this is just a thing in my life now. In like ten years am I going to be on tumblr? You’ll pick up and interact with new people. If you post about Julie, they have no idea who you mean. Isn’t that a weird idea? I never thought of any of this as long term, you know?
Listen, you guys, I don’t mean to brag or whatever but I fucking got to see Marcus's short film today!
I was so proud of him.
It’s a real movie. It’s not just a thing someone you think is awesome made. It has an interesting premise and it has a real warmth to it. It’s a tender movie, I think. And it’s visually gorgeous. It’s just a treat to look at. Marcus is amazing.
Here’s my advice: Bother Marcus and make him let you watch it!
Because he should share the thing. He done good.
In those early teenage years, man, friendship was so natural and powerful for me. I had all these guy friends and friendships that were as easy and powerful as gravity. I saw my friends every single day and we all knew everything about one another. It was such a pure, easy, powerful thing. But, back then, girls… I was baffled. Even if I liked a girl and she liked me, I was fucking nowhere about how to handle it or what to do about it. How the fuck was some serious girlfriend supposed to fit into my life? I kept trying to figure out how to navigate it. I’d like try to find a girlfriend I could fit into all the downtime, the time I wasn’t doing all the other shit. When I thought about my friends, it all made sense, like everyday. When I thought about romantic relationships, I was like how do I fit it all in? There’s no time!
Now I’m 31. Nothing is more natural than having a girlfriend you live with. See her everyday. Plan meals together. I fucking ask for permission to watch movies sometimes. Hey do you have interest in movie X? Oh, okay, I’ll wait for you to watch it. It’s natural and it’s lovely. But I worry I’m about to enter into a friendship wilderness that will be as confusing as my early teenage years girl wilderness. I’m like not clear on how 35 year olds maintain meaningful friendships. As a 31 year old I’m already relying on weird impulsive emails and text messages probably more than I should. I don’t know all the details of my friends lives anymore. They fill me in with like MAJOR updates. “Oh, I don’t work there anymore—I didn’t tell you that?” It’s sort of scary. The rhythm of friendship just changes to a slower beat and you do more of the life-processing, worrying, analyzing and dreaming about the future with your romantic partner. I don’t know what I was expecting to happen as I got older. Something more like The League or Always Sunny? Adult friends together all the time!
It’s just weird to get old and see life from new angles. Not bad ones at all. It’s just that by the time you adjust to something, other things have changed too. So what the fuck is my point? I don’t know. Life has a lot of moving parts and they don’t ever move the way I expected, I guess.
This seems like extremely fucking awesome news. What kind of food is it? Can I eat it? Is there beef or chicken or cheese in it??? PLEASE CAN I EAT IT?
While this dream is terrible, it’s beautiful too. The connection between you and your father, the grip, the willingness to sacrifice for each other, the sad truth of the world that we can’t hang on to anyone forever. There will always be pain on your father’s face, and your’s too, because no matter who is in what position, this is the last time you get to hold hands and be together. Somebody falls. Our connections, no matter how strong, aren’t permanent.
Which position is better? Well, you don’t want to be selfish, so your first instinct is to say that it’s better for you to be the one who fell and gets to let go and sacrifice for your father—but then you see the grief on his face. Was that the unselfish option? I think if it’s just someone you love, like romantically, or maybe a sibling, I think it was the unselfish option. You let go and fall. Let them live. If it’s a parent though, the unselfish thing might be to let them sacrifice for you. Live with the guilt of having received that sacrifice. Parents shouldn’t have to mourn their kids. It’s too much. Better for you to mourn, as awful as that will be. That’s just the deal, I think. Somebody has to. That’s what the dream is about, right? Accepting that terrible aspect of loving someone.
There’s a few traits that are super desirable. I mean, like, to me the perfect friend is Iago with the heart of Santa Claus and the sense of humor of Richard Pryor. I like awareness, kindness, and sense of humor—well, not sense of humor really, it’s just that sense of humor is a good indication of the other stuff I like. A good sense of humor correlates with all kinds of other good stuff. But it’s actually expendable.
So for me that leaves awareness and kindness. And the truth is they’re intertwined. The more you really understand what’s happening in a given situation, the more generous you tend to be. A lot of what allows people to be kind is that they’re able to just see beyond their own tiny little view of the world. Seeing beyond yourself is the essence of both kindness and awareness and it’s amazingly desirable. When you get around people who really see other people, who are, like, really in the room, it’s fucking amazing. There’s so much more of a sense of possibility around people like that. It’s just like how you realize you have so much more to say once you’re around someone who really listens. Things just open up.
But you know what else is a really desirable trait that I don’t emphasize enough partly because I worry it’s not my strong suit exactly: integrity, guts, backbone, that ability to say FUCK THIS when shit is fucked up, unfair or undesirable. I love kindness and adaptability, but another part of awareness is knowing when to draw a line and take responsibility for what you’re allowing to happen. I love that in a person. People who know who they are and who you are and are able to communicate with no bullshit. That’s beautiful.
There’s something very tumblr about seeing that this kind of emotional, important post comes from somebody named satanlickmydick
39th Annual National Suicide Prevention Week
Challenging our Assumptions and Moving Forward Together
September 8th - 14th, 2013
National Suicide Prevention Week is the Sunday through Saturday surrounding World Suicide Prevention Day, September 10th.
2013 National Suicide Prevention Week: Media and Information Kit
See what other organizations planned for Suicide Prevention Week 2013
I don’t remember how I ever posted so many things on tumblr. I have nothing to say at all. So anyway, hi. Hope you’re all blah blah blah
When I shake a man’s hand I try to get a really firm grip and then I like to bring my left hand into the picture and place it on the elbow of his shaking hand and then I like to suddenly pull his arm and spin him around so his back is facing me and then I press my whole body into his and whisper really close to his ear: “Nice to meet you.”
This question is impossible!
The only way to do it is to just accept that you’re going to miss many many many many super amazing songs. Just gotta do the first great ten that come to mind. But that’s impossible because you can’t help but try to pick some songs that are representative of different areas of music you love.
Jeff Buckley — Hallelujah
Ryan Adams — Come Pick Me Up
Sage Francis — The Best of Times
The Fugees — Vocab
Modest Mouse — Float On
Atmosphere — Always Coming Back Home to You
Kimya Dawson — Walk Like Thunder
Yeasayer — Tightrope
The Notorious B.I.G. — Juicy
Kenny Rogers — The Gambler
I always demand to hear how couples met in the hope that they will say something I could imagine happening to me. But they don’t. They always have a story I can’t fucking believe worked out for the dude. It gets me so pissed.
Her: It’s such a funny story. I met Todd when Todd was mugging me. It was late at night in a deserted part of town and that’s when out of nowhere Todd approached me to mug me. Right away I liked how mysterious and assertive he was.
Him: And I liked how Julie just handed me her purse with no bullshit. When I got home I kept thinking about how hot she was and about how cool she was handing over her purse. Then I realized I had all her contact info in the purse and I called her.
Her: After waiting like a whole week!
Him: It’s true I waited a week! Well, you know, I wasn’t sure if she’d be mad about the mugging. But when I called and said I was Todd and I’d recently mugged her, did she want to go out, she said yes.
Her: I was so happy!
Him: I was too.
In DC, we have a bag tax. So as a result, people don’t always want a bag with their purchased item. So I ask if they want a bag. People quite often answer by saying, “Yeah, that’ll make life easier.”
And when I’m grumpy I always want to snap back: “No, it fucking won’t.”