Once on 30 Rock Jack’s mom was sick and being waited upon by Jack and my favorite thing was when she started ringing a big bell so that Jack would come help her and when he gets there to help what she wants is her “other bell.”

If I were a cat I would purr in the morning while I drank my coffee and read the latest news about famous cats.

It is unknown for certain why cats purr.

Sometimes when you stay up too late you get that weird ‘THIS IS YOUR LIFE’ fear.

I was reading a Raymond Carver short story today and I suddenly had this powerful memory of talking about Raymond Carver with this really close friend of mine like 12 or 13 or 14 years ago and I felt like I fucking had to text this friend about it because I could remember this whole conversation we’d had as teenagers but there was so much to say that I felt like I shouldn’t text it, I should email it—I should explain the whole experience I was having: the trigger, the memory, what the memory means to me now, all of it. So I opened the gmail thingy on my phone and hit ‘compose’ and the little blank email popped up so that I could fill it in and write it all but obviously the second I was looking at that blankness I didn’t know how to explain any of what I’d wanted to say a minute earlier. So I kind of stared at it a second or two and then closed that shit and didn’t say anything to my friend. I just let it go.

In movies now, are there still packed bookshelves in the background of the scenes that take place in people’s houses? Because the books seem so conspicuous in the background of this old movie. I wonder why that is. Also the music in dramas in the early 90s is so absurd. It’s cartoonish, overbearing, condescending, and—it tells you exactly how to feel about everything. It’s like someone took the world’s worst high school English teacher and turned them into an orchestra that’s supposed to try to ruin the movie.

George Carlin is in Prince of Tides!

Shopping for pasta sauce has gotten so overwhelming…

Today is October 14th. Like when all the people vanished.

Was there a Last Week Tonight on Sunday? There wasn’t, right? Because I can’t find it anywhere if there was.

This is of the utmost importance.

Do we all agree that there was no episode of Last Week Tonight for Sunday, October 12, 2014?

So it seems that now it’s been a few months since Woody Allen’s daughter wrote all that stuff alleging sexual abuse on his part and all of the sudden pretty much every Wood Allen movie is on Netflix. I can’t help but think Netflix capitalized on the controversy and got a good price on the rights to Woody Allen movies. And here’s the thing, I kind of think that’s awesome. Like as much as I care about justice or whatever, that’s a lot of good movies suddenly ready to be streamed. I really respect that Netflix went and found itself a bargain.

I think Alec Baldwin is better in 30 Rock than any other actor is in any other sitcom ever. Is that crazy? You’re crazy!

The cheaper the cologne, the more unbelievable the power of its stench.

Is Gore Vidal still alive? I swear I just saw Gore Vidal driving a Ford Fusion.