Bridges are amazing. Humans are so crazy. Think about the audacity of bridges! Hmm, I can’t keep going because of all this water in my way. I know, I’ll just build a fucking giant thing up in the sky above the water and that thing will make it so it’s like there’s land where the water is and then I can just keep going.
The sound of the car driving somehow changes once the other people in the car are asleep.
“Stop fucking looking at my screen, man!” — Me, playing Goldeneye on Nintendo 64 like a billion years ago.
Instead of using a fan to keep cool I’m going to do what Zooey Deschanel does and just have a million butterflies flap their wings at me in unison so that I get a perfect cool breeze.
I assume you’re all British.
recleagueallstar asked: Do you think heaven can exist on Earth? If so, where is it and what is it like?
I think it can. But it’s not in any one place. It’s a moment between people. It’s a connection between people. Friends, lovers, family whatever. When the people involved are at their best, fully actualizing who they are as individuals and yet at the same time discovering that who they are together is something even beyond that, when suddenly the moment has its own momentum. There’s a kind of click that happens. There’s a real magic that can take place between people.
That’s the only heaven I really believe in.
And I know it’s real. I’ve been there.
Drink recipe:
3 ounces of Fiji water
1/2 ounce of Guinness
4 ounces of orphan tears
4 maraschino cherries
It’s called The Bono.
I’m feeling mighty likable today.
One of the most romantic things is if you are a 12 year old English chimney sweep back in olden times and you are sweet on a young girl chimney sweep who is totally cute despite all the soot on her face and you’re both really poor but you really like her and work hard to save every scrap you make from chimney sweeping so that one rainy day when she’s crying because she can’t find her puppy, you use the money you’ve saved to buy her a lolly pop, a big red one, and she likes it so much she kisses you right on your soot covered cheek and you know she’ll be your lady when the two of you grow up and she knows it too, that’s why she didn’t eat the lolly pop. She saves it. Guess for when. Your wedding day!
I’m very tired.
But I can’t sleep.
Which makes me feel grumpy.
Which makes me think everyone is a big shitface!
[video]
Dear mister prankster, will you make up a song about me and post it tonight?
Please?
It can be mean if you want!
When I’m on the down escalator, this is the look I give all the people on the up escalator.
If I ever have myself a son I shall instruct my son as follows on the subject of tumblr drama:
Be Biggie, not Pac.
And he’ll know just what I mean, for my son shall know the classics.
mspixiestyx asked: I am looking for 3 types of books to read. Give me your best suggestions please! Types of books I'm looking for: I want a book that will change my life, a book that will scare me shitless and keep me up for a week and a knife under my pillow, and a book that I hate but love at the same time.
Read:
The Corrections by Franzen
This Is Not A Novel by David Markson
and
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Murakami
When you’re done with all three, we’ll talk about which book was which type, deal?