March 2012
1 tag
I hope Rick Santorum’s children all become exceptionally smart, honest, independent thinking, good hearted people and that they listen to what he says very very closely and that he, at some point, will have a moment where he suddenly notices the looks on their faces.
Here’s something that always delights me. When I find someone who is against something I didn’t even have any idea you could even be against. I don’t so much mean like Rick Santorum being against promoting everyone going to college—that surprised me—but that wasn’t exciting.
What I mean is something more like the following examples.
I dated a girl who had a...
February 2012
bestgirlbetty:
This is a shot in the dark, but oh why not. I am seeking corporate sponsors for my Realy for Life for the American Cancer Society to match fundraising or make a contribution. If you happen to work for a company that might be willing to be a sponsor, I would love to hear from you.
Here’s a link to my Relay page.
Am I the only one who is afraid of lyme disease mostly just because I’m terrified of acting like Irene from Real World Seattle?
Rain is a villain.
My jeans are wet.
Wet jeans make my legs cold.
Cold legs mean cold feet.
Now I’ll never get married!
If there is anything I believe in in this life it’s this: if two people have a discussion and one of them is in the right and the other is in the wrong, the one who is in the wrong will eventually have to start lying and blurring facts and getting angry. And if the one who is in the right knows what he’s doing and listens well, the one who is in the wrong will eventually end up...
A really really weird part of getting older at least for me is that you have these friends who you love to death that for whatever reason—mostly it’s just that adult shit comes up—who you never stop loving but just keep playing smaller and smaller parts in your life. They take a different job, or get married, or have kids and all of the sudden every single time you talk you have...
One thing I find frustrating about being a professional inventor is all the people who come to me and say something like, hey Adam can you invent, say, a boot for underwater mountain exploration and then successfully market that boot to the public? Hell no. I’ll invent your scuba mountain boot but I will NOT market it. I’m an inventor not some fucking ad man. You market it, you piece...
ericarosie asked: Are you going to vote in the upcoming election?
spiralingsidewayz-deactivated20 asked: What's been on your mind here lately?
Anonymous asked: We know that finding the best people you can and hang out with them as hard as possible is the meaning of life or the point of life or whatever. You've said that countless times. We get that. But outside of the right people, what makes life worth while?
heysarahsarah-deactivated201203 asked: Many people love to hate on "duck face." What do you think of it?
christinaincorporated asked: WHY ARE YOU SO WONDERFUL?
blondhousewife asked: What is the worst movie you have ever seen. And what it made it the worst you ever had seen?
Anonymous asked: Someone once told me that men who wear ski hats all the time are balding underneath but also have tremendously large penises. Truth or fiction?
questions?
So The Artist might be a great move, but I just, you know, liked it. I didn’t think it was like perfect or something. It was good. But what was perfect was how much fun my friends and I had watching it. I know I’ve covered this already, but I had so much fun making jokes and providing dialogue for a silent movie. It was so fun. And a great night with your friends is better than even...
The annoyingness of my extremely long beard is playing a dangerous game of chicken with my shaving laziness.
I just watched The Artist. If you think that movie is better than Drive, you don’t know shit.
I would like to officially say, fuck the academy.
Dude, I saw the funniest thing recently. Someone who hates Gilmo and I took the time to go to some kind of gay pornography resource and locate a photograph from gay pornography in which one man is sucking another man’s penis and then he posted it to tumblr and assigned each of the men in the photograph from gay pornography new identities which corresponded to Gilmo and myself. I suppose the...
So I just showed everybody over here some video of me playing pick up basketball back in high school. I was hoping they would be impressed by my incredible basketball skills but in the games I was often skins not shirts and the reaction I got was not so much, boy, you were so good at basketball, but, holy shit, Adam, you used to be skinny and ripped, look at your body, you were in such good...
1 tag
“To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves - there...”
One thing I like about my body is that I’m pretty sure if I went on a year long camping trip, I would not take one shit.
In less than ideal settings my body is just like no fucking way.
So we had an interesting discussion last night. The question was based on this. I live in a predominantly black neighborhood. Now, the longer we live here the more our neighbors have warmed up to us. I get lots of hellos and have warm friendly discussions with our neighbors and it really makes me happy to feel like we’re a part of the community. But the truth is, I think for some reason a...
When I remember that a woman makes 75 cents on the dollar for doing the same work as a man, I think about my own paycheck and say to myself: My god, she’s not gonna make it.
I like to imagine these anonymous motherfuckers, rejected by everyone, can barely romance their own penises enough to have a round of masturbation.
You know they’ve lost everything.
Blown everything.
Have to lie to everyone to get a hint of respect.
Know they’re pathetic.
Know the future is them alone and bitter and from here on out, it’s all just gonna be a process of...
vpache asked: Which is more dangerous, intelligence or insightfulness?
blondhousewife asked: If you could, please give us the background story on your love of knit caps.
Anonymous asked: hahaha. so "you" are gay and ashamed.
Anonymous asked: ew are u gay
Hey Kitchen, you fuck, come over and drink wine and get the fucking amazing book I got you, you slut.
This has been your invite.
If you don’t read my tumblr and see this, fuck you, I’ll burn the book and just see you around.
The hardest part of being an incredibly good looking magician is that you have to constantly wonder, do people love my magic or do they just love my perfect looks?
So me and my roommate emilytraeger were just sitting in total silence. Then I looked at her and said, Did you ever understand the concept of latent heat?
Then she started shaking and jumping up and down and smiling and said, No! NO! No, I totally never understood latent heat!
And I said, me neither!
And then we were both happy and we hugged.
Neither of us had ever understood latent heat!
I fucking hate java. I don’t even understand what fuck java even is really. Why does it always want to be updated? STOP FUCKING BULLYING ME, JAVA!
Who would invent a monocle? We have two eyes, why would you come up with the idea for the monocle?
That would be like if we were all walking around in bare feet and I was like hey guys you know how our feet always fucking hurt from walking on hard unpleasant shit, well, guess what, I invented something to fix that, this left boot.
9 tags
Couple of Cadillacs.
The thing I value most in people is the ability when there’s conflict to not just simply try to win, to not just go on offense because that’s the best strategy in an argument.
I like when someone can be as generous in a disagreement as possible. Grant all the points you can without compromising your integrity. Admit how limited your point of view might be. Acknowledge that you have...
So I’m working in the bookstore about an hour ago and a weird old man comes in with a bag of cds and says he wants to donate the cds. I say cool, we’ll take them. He then puts the bag of cds down and leaves.
I begin sorting through the cds to see exactly what’s there. When I’m about 3/4 of the way through the bag of cds I pick up a cd and the back side of it is soaking...
Something gross happened to me!
It’s beyond all decency!
More on this later.
We never play capture the flag anymore :(
It’s warm and sunny and pleasant out right now. This kind of weather gives me that just-had-a-glass-of-wine feeling. And that feeling makes me want to smile. Also it makes me want to actually have a glass of wine.