December 2011
They should make G.I. Joes that urinate real urine. By the way, we brunching. The theme of today’s brunch is drink till 2012.
Tricia is here and she’s fantastic.
Other guests include gilmo, emilytraeger, trolleycat, cuddlyninja and ecksjay.
You should see our outfits, god damn we look good.
I can't find my phone!
Carrot Top probably has 4 threesomes a week.
Whenever I think anything at all about black people I worry I’m being racist. Like after talkiing to this lady on the train this morning my brain had the following debate with itself:
God damn there is a special kind of fucking awesome about happy old black ladies!
Hmmm. Is that racist?
No, you love happy old black ladies, that’s a positive thing. Not racist.
Then why you mentioning she’s...
annajonzin asked: Do you have a pre-sleepy time ritual that you have to do before you can go to sleep?
I wish there was time enough in this life for me to post a whole post about each individual amazing person I have gotten to know as a result of hanging out in the particular corner of the internet I love so much. There are so many of you who astound me with the beauty of who you are but tonight I just want to say: flyoverjoel. So generous and kind and smart and cool and interesting. I have met the...
Sometimes I Don't Mind: Brunch Smackdown →
flyoverjoel:
Now we all know my dear friend Jusky is one hard brunching motherfucker. Emppalp can wear a tie and three days of scruff like no one’s business. Trolleycat likes her 9 AM beers and NO ONE ON THE INTERNETS LOVES BACON LIKE KRIS.
This is the A-Fucking-Team of Brunch right there people.
However,…
Somebody is throwing rocks at the throne. I love this man and all his...
Power may corrupt and absolute power may corrupt absolutely but, still, as far as things to get corrupted by, absolute power seems like a pretty fucking good one.
lafix asked: What's the deal with grudges?
mylibraryvoice asked: At what point in a relationship that has been on again off again should you give up ? More to the point how do you know when love is just not enough ?
criticalpax asked: Is it possible to get "serious" with someone who refuses to watch your favorite movie?
changingstephanie asked: How can I make new friends? I don't have anyone to drink beers with or listen to me cry when some jerk breaks up with me.
fredasaurusrex asked: how fucking awesome is FredasaurusRex? -anonymous
Anonymous asked: Sweet or savory?
lmshp asked: If you had to have sex with one famous man, who would you choose? Oral sex is a must, as well. Choose wisely.
Times up.
And if you don’t want to see me answer all these question, let me be clear, dude, fuck you, really? How unbearable are my answers going to be? Toughen up and get over it. I love yall through thick and thin and I want the same from you. Fucking bear with me, I’m answering all these shits. Be generous.
If anybody asks a question in the next fifteen minutes I guarantee you I will answer it and answer it completely 100% honestly. But after that the door closes and I’ll just answer what it makes sense to answer based on my own thinking. If you have a question, ask it now. DO IT HERE
“You have to question a cinematic culture which preaches artistic expression, and...”
– Ryan Gosling, in a letter protesting the NC-17 rating of ‘Blue Valentine’. The rating was based on one consensual sex scene, in which he performs cunnilingus on Michelle Williams. (via agarfields)
A really good cat name is Dr. Pussytron.
So today there was an ultra tiny little toddler girl in our bookstore who kept wandering away from her mom and waving at me and saying HI! to me over and over again and that might sound annoying but it was completely new and sincere and so friendly every single time and was really just fucking adorable as fuck.
Little kids are so good at sincerity it’s astounding.
I wanna get in a big food fight.
Or a squirt gun fight.
I think a terrifying weapon to face would be a squirt gun filled with a blind man’s urine.
It doesn’t have to be a blind man’s urine, any urine is scary but I just liked the sound of blind man’s urine in that sentence.
It would be awesome if you had a mobile tree house so that you could park your tree house on...
So tired I’m drooling.
Is this a world without mercy?
I need deep warm total sleep.
I’m so tired only very tall horses make sense!
So I’m at the Wizards/Nets game right now. And the crowd has been booing the fuck out of this one bum on the Nets named Kris Humphries and I have been fucking mystified as to why everyone hates this one shitty forward on the Nets. They boo him every time he touches the ball. And then just now I realized he’s the Kardashian fuckbag. Holy shit does everyone hate him.
I’m such a child. I can’t stop giggling about how funny it would be to use the normal how-bout-the-weather-type chit chat voice with a stranger but ask them some weirdly specific sexual question. You know just be like, hey, fingered anyone lately?
And maybe they’d go with it and be like, um, yeah, ah, my wife not too long ago, at the movies, awkward at first but then it got...
So I’m working right now.
However, I have made clear to my awesome boss that the full extent of my ambitions today involve me doing basically very little beyond eating potato chips and picking up the phone and saying “yes we’re open.”
So I may play on tumblr a bit.
Was there a ‘nudity in front of your Christmas tree’ meme or did I dream that?
I always...
I told my mom I think girls secretly like boys who don’t call them right away. My mom said I’m an asshole.
Jusky's Tips For Having a Lovely Christmas Morning
Mimosas.
Today my mom and I are going to go buy lobsters, do some last minute Christmas shopping, run some errands and then come home, snort bath salts and fight the lobsters.
If you find a man about your age who is asleep anywhere in the airport, I think it is your duty to change into a flashy outfit, wake him up, hand him a bar of soap, say in your smuggest cockiest voice ‘Hi, I am your Tyler Durden’ and then punch him in the face.
You’re not your fucking khakis, guy sleeping at the airport!
He just kept reading. Didn’t even acknowledge me.
When sitting next to a man on a train who is silently reading, I bet an interesting way to start a conversation would be to whisper to him: “I’m not usually gay.”
And then just look at him quizzically.
Martin Luther King would totally LOL a lot and love my tumblr.
