January 2011
REBLOGIN' BLOOD STAINED & DRUG FILLED: Itching... →
This is one of my favorite tumblr posts I’ve ever read.
bloodstainedanddrugfilled-:
I could be a housewife if it was your house I was married to. (The house of your ears and chin and Roman nose.) You could mow the grass and I’d admire you from the kitchen when you whispered to the horses things you’d never dream of whispering to me, and then I’d tell the horses things I’d...
December 2010
“The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile,...”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald, notebook.
carpejoseph asked: Re: Reblog if you want your followers to put their first impressions of you in your ask.
"Mr. Miyagi back from the dead, witty as fuck."
"Mr. Miyagi back from the dead, witty as fuck."
1 tag
American Roulette: A Retreat With Every Advance →
“[T]he peculiar double-sided nature of life, which dampens every higher aspiration with a lower one. This two-sided nature combines a retreat with every advance, a weakness with every strength, and gives no one a right that it does not take away from others, straightens out no tangle without…
1 tag
i hate when one person asks the same question over and over again to tons of people. what a dick!
1 tag
2010
I’ll tell you what happened to me this year that I never would have believed could happen:
I have internet friends.
Like, really.
I’m not a Star Trek fan and I don’t live in my mom’s basement. I have real life friends. But a funny thing happened to me this year. I really tried to be funny on twitter and got deeper and deeper into favstar and tried to figure out what...
1 tag
Sage Francis - Sea Lion (feat. Will Oldham)
Warning
If someone challenges you to a bee swallowing contest and wants you to go first, it might turn out it’s all just a trick. At least that’s what they’ll tell everyone once you’ve swallowed way more bees than they ever could!
1 tag
The Portland Maine Airport
Is just an old guy standing next to an airplane, masturbating.
It’s the most erotic airport I’ve ever seen.
One awesome part of being home
Is that my childhood bedroom is now my mother’s computer room so when she gets up for the day at 430AM she wants to come in and print crossword puzzles while I’m asleep.
“Genius is an African who dreams up snow.”
– Nabokov
“When someone says, “Expect the unexpected,” I like to punch them in the face to...”
– @Brain_Wash
1 tag
There’s a newspaper on my mom’s roof from the paperboy’s errant throw in early July. Apparently after presents tomorrow I get to climb up and retrieve it. Fucking paperboy.
If Santa knows what he's doing...
A few of you ladies are in boxes under my tree right now. I’ll go poke air holes for you.
1 tag
Outkast - Slump
Love this song. Gotta have...
Outkast - Slump
Love this song. Gotta have to...
Guys,
I am drunk and making friends at the airport bar. The lady I just met was in a wheel chair until 2 years ago when she got a bi-lateral ligament transplant in her legs. In other words, all her ligaments below the knees were given to her by organ donors. I assume you are all organ donors. I recently filled out my bone marrow donor shit and am waiting to get the kit in the mail. I can’t...
Hmmm
Southwest Airlines just sent me an email saying they wanted to remind me before my flight tonight that you can’t masturbate your way into the mile high club.
Which is kind of weird because I’m not flying on Southwest.
Wanna see what I sound like telling a story in...
http://yearofgiving.org/2010/12/21/day-353-adam-j/
Question
You think that baby is all grown up now and constantly talking about how he’s on the cover of that Nirvana album?
Nostalgia
Remember smoking pot out of a bowl you made out of a soda can?
Fuck me, the only paradise is a paradise lost.
1 tag
I must be drunk because only a few people liking my zombie post makes me feel genuinely sad. A wagon pulled by zombies? Fuck yall, that’s an awesome idea!
fredasaurusrex asked: I've been watching zombie movies all day and whenever I watch them, I always think "what if I were one of the survivors?"
so, here's your zombie questionairre! (please explain your answers)
1. who's in your group of survivors?
2. mode of transportation?
3. where are you going?
4. who...
so, here's your zombie questionairre! (please explain your answers)
1. who's in your group of survivors?
2. mode of transportation?
3. where are you going?
4. who...
1 tag
Regina Spektor - On The Radio
I can’t...
My new pick up line
I want to have sex with you on purpose, as hard as I can, for no reason.
Little kids
My favorite thing ever is when one kid tells on another kid for hitting him and adds the three great guilt intensifiers.
“Tommy hit me on purpose, as hard as he could, for no reason!”
1) on purpose
2) as hard as he could
3) for no reason
fredasaurusrex asked: I've been watching zombie movies all day and whenever I watch them, I always think "what if I were one of the survivors?"
so, here's your zombie questionairre! (please explain your answers)
1. who's in your group of survivors?
2. mode of transportation?
3. where are you going?
4. who...
so, here's your zombie questionairre! (please explain your answers)
1. who's in your group of survivors?
2. mode of transportation?
3. where are you going?
4. who...
Sigh...
You know those days where you decide that instead of wearing pants you’ll just wrap a blanket around yourself and wear it like a skirt all day?
“A dinner which ends without cheese is like a beautiful woman with only one eye.”
– Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
