February 2012
130 posts
So I’m working in the bookstore about an hour ago and a weird old man comes in with a bag of cds and says he wants to donate the cds. I say cool, we’ll take them. He then puts the bag of cds down and leaves. I begin sorting through the cds to see exactly what’s there. When I’m about 3/4 of the way through the bag of cds I pick up a cd and the back side of it is soaking...
Feb 23rd
55 notes
Something gross happened to me! It’s beyond all decency! More on this later.
Feb 23rd
33 notes
We never play capture the flag anymore :(
Feb 23rd
44 notes
It’s warm and sunny and pleasant out right now. This kind of weather gives me that just-had-a-glass of wine feeling. And that feeling makes me want to smile. Also it makes me want to actually have a glass of wine.
Feb 23rd
62 notes
Animal Thoughts With Jusky:
I’ll tell you who has a weird kind of tail. Horses! So weird. Is it just made of hair? How does it move? If I had a horse could I give its tail a perm?
Feb 23rd
59 notes
Also I just saw a blind lady on the train who had a white cane and like a little poodle as her service dog. Is that legit? Poodles can be seeing eye dogs? Weird. Maybe the lady is faking the blind to get to bring her poodle on the train? If so, I respect the effort and the balls behind such a move. Welcome aboard, poodle.
Feb 23rd
69 notes
I wonder if Romney will be a tougher opponent for Obama in the general election than I’ve been assuming. None of the four options seems particularly well suited to take on Obama but Romney’s team is obviously good. Twice now he’s managed to pack the debate crowd in his favor and showed up with some well researched attacks that seemed to catch his opponents off guard. It sort of reminds me of...
Feb 23rd
32 notes
Feb 23rd
36 notes
Hey send me a link to a homerun song. A song that is just undeniably good. Any genre. I just want to hear something truly great and I don’t know what I feel like listening to. Please send me something great. Do it here. EDIT: Oh yeah, links don’t work in the ask box. Submit links by reply!
Feb 23rd
34 notes
Feb 22nd
42 notes
Feb 22nd
28 notes
Feb 22nd
48 notes
This morning I couldn’t find my wallet. This is weird because I always keep my wallet in the same place: in the back left pocket of the pants I wore yesterday and will wear again today. So normally I just put my pants on and boom I have my wallet. Why did I move my wallet from its spot? I suspect witches are involved—obviously.
Feb 22nd
76 notes
DC tweet up: BYOLP! BRING YOUR OWN LOBSTER PICNIC!
Feb 22nd
50 notes
To me one of the most mystifying things to be found in modern human society is the phenomenon of the angry ex-boyfriend. Why are there so many dudes willing to make themselves into such a sad stereotype? I can get plenty out of control and emotional but I can’t ever picture myself either straight up begging to get someone back who doesn’t want me, or, even worse, throwing aside all...
Feb 22nd
83 notes
Me: Wait, so then, is ketchup a fruit?
Emily: Yes.
Me: I knew it. I fucking knew it. I fucking always knew that. I knew that shit in my heart.
Feb 22nd
62 notes
Feb 21st
116 notes
It can be tough to figure out how to handle awkward situations. I thought it might be helpful if I went over one of the techniques I use to fight awkwardness in certain sticky social situations. Like say you and a friend are out clamming this morning and your friend spots one of his old friends that you don’t know and they start chatting for like ever and not even about clamming, just about like...
Feb 21st
73 notes
I’m up early because I’m off to go clamming. That’s my new thing, clamming. I go clamming now. I am a clammer. I like the digging and the early hours.
Feb 21st
79 notes
Sometimes posting on tumblr is even more lonesome than not posting on tumblr. Yesterday, I watched the fourth episode of the first season of Justified. Tonight, I’m about to watch the fifth episode of the second season. I watched a lot. Turns out I really like watching that hot cowboy shoot people.
Feb 21st
65 notes
thedude---- asked: What even happened to Saturday morning cartoons?
Feb 21st
39 notes
Am I the only one who reads his timeline and once a day thinks, holy shit, that post is fucking racist?
Feb 21st
45 notes
You know you’re deep into this internet social life shit when you express yourself to others by not ever mentioning certain things or you start to notice that certain people aren’t talking about certain things and you know what that shit means. This shit gets complicated when you start feeling like you know what certain silences and certain avoidances might mean. You start...
Feb 21st
83 notes
bigbadblake asked: You've met a girl and she's almost perfect- smart, funny, beautiful, good at board games so when you go home to visit your family and play trivial pursuit you can finally beat your family and prove to them that you aren't just some loser! The only think problem is that she's vehemently anti-semetic and is a holocaust denier. I know that this is a difficult hypothetical given...
Feb 21st
30 notes
I never ever successfully spell ‘immediately’ without the help of spellcheck.
Feb 21st
60 notes
Just once I’d like to have too much bookshelf space and not enough books to fill them. What a feeling that must be.
Feb 19th
52 notes
Guys, pressure makes diamonds. It also makes me impotent :(
Feb 18th
46 notes
Feb 18th
107 notes
Feb 18th
94 notes
Feb 18th
114 notes
So the lady bank tellers at my bank flirt with me really hard. Are they even really flirting with me or am I just being crazy? This is impossible to understand. Because if I was the kind of guy girls flirted with, they would flirt with me in any number of the other situations I’m in that do not involve me being at the bank. Maybe they just want a big tip from me? Um, no, that would...
Feb 17th
73 notes
c-gilmo asked: What's the highest thing on your priority list that you're not currently doing. Why not? What's the next step toward that thing? Why haven't you taken it? Where you at with that thing? What's number 2?
Feb 17th
20 notes
changingstephanie asked: What does being in love feel like?
Feb 17th
39 notes
mr-mikowski asked: I think I've figured this out: Jusky is to Tumblr like Ice Cube is to Law and Order: SVU
Feb 17th
36 notes
thefogbender asked: what's one thing that you've only done twice
Feb 17th
23 notes
Probably the strangest thing that ever happened to me on twitter was when I had this sort of contemplative moment and didn’t make a joke but just said what I was thinking, which was this: All my worst problems started out as solutions. And that was sort of that. I was a favstar guy back then and I knew it wouldn’t get too many stars but it got a few and I believe it was sort of...
Feb 17th
65 notes
If Barbie became a real lady she might be very attractive but the main thing you’d notice about her is that the way she walks is ridiculous. Sure she can kind of move her legs but she tends to walk by swinging her whole stiff body to the right and then the left and then the right and then the left and so on as if a giant invisible hand were holding her by the waist and bopping her to where...
Feb 16th
65 notes
stupidloudmouth asked: Do you wanna do karate in the garage?
Feb 16th
33 notes
Tumblr doesn’t suck. I even like the way y’all disagree with me. Shit, I like you people.
Feb 16th
79 notes
House. The X Files. Lost. The Office. Shows I once loved but I am now angry at. Shows that let me down. Shows that got weak. Shows that ended up making me feel like an idiot for ever liking them. At their best, they were great. At their worst, they ruined all their previous greatness. Boom, fighting words!
Feb 16th
73 notes
I’m in the mood to argue. LET’S GET FEISTY. Twilight sucks. Harry Potter sucks. Glee sucks. Facebook sucks. Twitter sucks. Pennies suck. 1984 sucks. The Crying of Lot 49 sucks. The Social Network sucks. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button sucks. Avatar sucks. Fox News sucks. LMFAO sucks. Inception sucks. Every Spiderman movie sucks. The Help sucks. ...
Feb 16th
95 notes
Feb 16th
74 notes
jazzhandsforlife asked: What are your thoughts on the video I just posted? I think the girls voice is better than Kimbra's. I can't get this song out of my head.
Feb 16th
20 notes
Feb 15th
65 notes
apologize to tumblr for your tumblr sins meme
Tumblr, forgive me for I have sinned. I have left questions unanswered. I have failed to regularly read the posts of people I care about a lot. I have anonymously asked sexual questions of girls I found attractive. I have right clicked and saved unwholesome pictures of attractive females. I have pandered and posted shit with the specific intention of looking cool and having people agree...
Feb 15th
85 notes
Feb 15th
67 notes
theoriginaljackass asked: Describe how you lost your virginity in horrifying detail.
Feb 15th
67 notes
shananotshanna asked: Do you have a favorite passage in the novel The Brothers Karamazov?
Feb 15th
33 notes
jamarcucci asked: I just posted asking everyone if they wanted to answer a hard question. The only stipulation was that if they accepted, they HAD to answer it. You game?
Feb 15th
15 notes
I don’t know, anybody feel like asking me a question? I have some I could answer but I want more! I don’t fucking know. Do it here.
Feb 15th
9 notes