One way to be cool is to be a real speed demon in your car. Cool people are always speeding. The speed limit is basically for nerds and squares. Maybe wear a leather jacket and drive like 100 MPH. Very cool.

I follow a guy on twitter who I think maybe only tweets about who/what he could defeat in one-on-one combat. It’s pretty funny. Him if he went back in time vs Davey Crockett, he wins. Him born in Davey Crockett’s time vs Davey Crocket, Crocket wins.

Him vs a wolf? Won’t end well for the wolf. He does not fear wolves.

He’s @DinkMagic

According to new recommendations you should be drinking between four and six gallons of bottled water a day. Anything less than two gallons a day is the equivalent of being a smoker.

Dnasty points out an Instagram account called DILFs of Disneyland.

I think that’s so funny. DILFs of Disneyland!

You guys, I watched the first eight minutes of the movie The Fault In Our Stars.

So horrible. Just, there’s no defense. What a nightmare of a movie.

If I ever have a daughter I want to teach her that she never needs to apologize for her body or feel guilty for saying no to anyone.

And you know, sitting here watching tv and not being a parent that doesn’t seem so hard. But it’s probably a lot harder than it seems to teach children anything.

I just got in trouble with golf authorities for attempting to damage a flying camera drone that was photographing me while I golf. True story. Said authorities were quite upset.

If you ever get an email from LinkedIn that claims I looked at your LinkedIn profile, disregard it because it is a lie and merely a classic piece of LinkedIn trickery for I assure you I have never once looked at anyone’s LinkedIn profile because that is the most boring thing I can even imagine ever doing, so much so that if I ever do look at a LinkedIn profile I will leave that profile up on my laptop near my lifeless body as a kind of particularly anguished symbolic suicide note, okay?

Who has beats by dre headphones? Everyone but you on every train you ever ride on for always.

I’m glad we live in a world where people kiss each other rather than, say, licking each other’s eyes.

One thing that’s fun to do is google Calvin Harris and then play the video of any song he’s involved with and then dance to it alone in your apartment but dance in a very specific way where you only move your neck and head as if you are like the sassiest funkiest bird in the history of birds.


It is unreal.


It is unreal.